Feed the Soul

Yesterday my day looked like this: 

So much yard work..  

So much yard work..  

So obviously I deserved a treat. The hardest thing about this diet and "get fit" thing I'm trying to do is to change my attitude towards food.  Previously a "treat" would have been a big bowl of pasta followed by ice cream, aka a diet killer.  However last night I treated myself with a steak and a salad. The treat came in the form of a loaded baked potato. Celebratory potato.  It was delicious.  Not 100% diet friendly, but like my doctor told me sometimes you have to feed the soul.  Things that aren't diet friendly can still be enjoyed, just in limited quantities.  Besides, what fun is life if you don't get to have your favorite things from time to time. 

It's never easy...

I started physical therapy this week.  I'd forgotten just how much it freaking hurts.

I've had trouble with my shoulders since high school.  I was a competitive swimmer for 9 years, I started when I was 8 and went without a break until I graduated high school.  I loved swimming, I loved competing, and I loved being part of a team.  I was never especially good, but I was good enough to be on the high school's varsity team all 4 years.  When I was a sophomore I started experiencing shoulder pain during workouts, it felt like someone was driving nails through my shoulder joint.  This being the early '00s before we as a society had really dedicated much into studying sports related injuries I just pushed through it (thanks to my coach not letting me taking it easy).  I went to an ortho once to tell them that it hurt, they gave me a cortisone shot and told me to start doing PT.  I did the PT multiple times a week, but all the while I was working out just as hard as I ever was; effectively nulling any progress that the PT made on healing my shoulder.

Fast forward to now, I haven't swam for fitness in well over a decade.  I told myself it was because I didn't have access/time to dedicate myself to it, although I have tried a couple of times and always had to stop after a few weeks due to shoulder pain.  After moving to Pittsburgh I got my very first job where I'm required to sit at a desk all day, and surprise surprise it's started doing a number on my shoulder.

It started as what felt like a muscle knot over my right shoulder blade.  Jacob says that he can see it and it's about the size of a small orange (dayum!). So I saw a chiropractor (read: voodoo doctor) for a while and they tried to use stim therapy to get the knot to release but it did nothing but cost me a co-pay twice a week.  I've had regular massage for about a year now and that hasn't moved it either, so I finally mentioned it to my primary care doctor (who is amazing) and she prescribed PT.

I saw the PT for the first time this past Tuesday and she was immediately able to tell me what was going on.  My right shoulder has "swimmer's shoulder".  Which is where, due to all the swimming I did, as caused the capsule that holds the shoulder joint in place has become incredibly loose allowing my right shoulder to become a "trick" joint.  It flops around and just has not stability at all, I have about 120 degrees of backwards rotation in the joint.  Combine that with my desk job, the shoulder flops forward pulling my posture forward putting a large amount of strain and impingement on my biceps tendon.  This has also caused the large muscle knot in my back, and the neck pain I've been dealing with.

They've set out to train my muscles to compensate for my poor shoulder stability and increase the coordination in those muscles, and also to strengthen/train my posture muscles so I .  It hurts like a real bitch since I've basically not used those muscles in years.  

Moral of the story: If it hurts mention it to your doctor. They get really annoyed when you tell them that you've just been "dealing" with the discomfort.  Also listen to Jacob when he gives advice, because he's right an annoying amount of the time.

Kelly's Weekly Update

Kelly's Weight Report

Hey everyone, here's my least favorite part of every week! The part where I tell you how much I weigh.  I've had a pretty good week in terms of weight loss: 3.5lbs down!  I'm pretty happy with that although the id part of my brain keeps saying that I've been on this diet for 2 months now, I should be down more than 12.6lbs.  Then the sane part of my brain takes over and reminds me that Rome wasn't built in a day, and I have a very long way to go.

The diet is still an adjustment,  I still miss all my favorite carbs (I'm looking at you, potatoes), but it's getting easier.  I've noticed since I've cut simple carbohydrates from my diet I'm not able to eat nearly as much as I used to.  I'm not sure if that's a side effect of lessening my sugar intake or if it's just placebo on my part but it's been interesting to experience.  I've also had a much more consistent energy level, as well as an easier time focusing at work and at home.   I've also cut way way back on alcohol intake for about a month now, so hopefully that will contribute to the goal as well.

Workouts are still really hard and I get winded faster than I'd like, but I keep doing them thanks to lots of prodding and encouragement from Jacob. I pulled a muscle in my calf 2 weeks back, and it's the first time I've ever pulled a muscle.  Now I understand why athletes take so much time off due to them, it freaking HURTS.

So that's about it as far as updates go for me.  I know I'm probably shouting into the void here, but in the event that someone is listening I hope this is encouraging.  If I can lose weight, then there's hope for everyone.

Hi, my name is Kelly

Hi everyone! Jacob is letting me post here because he's not the only one on this nerdfit journey.  I'm his wife, Kelly.   Over the past year I've started having various health issues like high blood pressure and constant fatigue.  I've seen many doctors about what's going on, but I'm pretty sure the reason for these symptoms, a long with my others, is pretty simple: I'm fat. 

I've deluded myself for a long time about it.  I lied to myself about how much and what I eat, how much I drink, and blamed my tightening clothes on the dryer shrinking them and the inconsistency in clothing sizes.  Ya know, the usual rationalizations.  However, a trip to the endocrinologist snapped me out of my delusions when he was wonderfully blunt and just said: "you need to prioritize weight loss in your life, or things are going to keep getting worse".  This was in late December 2016 and I'd weighed in at 190 with a 41" waist.  This is completely unacceptable for someone who is 5'2".  Dr. Rometo gave me some pamphlets on medically supervised weight loss programs (that was a shocking thing to receive) along with information on glycemic index, he also suggested joining weight watchers for increased accountability.  

The weight gain hasn't been a sudden one, and all of it has been my fault.  Here's a picture of me in 2006, it's the oldest one I could find.  This is when the weight gain started.  I was in college and I'd just turned 21.  I'd been a competitive swimmer for 9 years but I'd quit due to shoulder injuries and my university not having a swim team.  My boyfriend of 4 years had just dumped me and I was about to fall into a very deep depression.  These were the circumstances around my weight gain, I'm not trying to say that I was blameless, I just feel the story is important.

It wasn't just my weight that was effected here, due to the depression I allowed myself to fall into some very very bad habits.  Even though I wasn't on an athletic team anymore to this point I'd been working out and joined various intramural clubs that kept me active and social.  I was part of Tae Kwon Do and a regular at the campus gym before the depression set in.  After the depression however, all of that ended.  I started playing World of Warcraft and allowed myself to get completely sucked in.  It became my surrogate life where I was actually able to feel in control and forget about the fact that I was so unhappy in my life outside. Now, there's nothing inherently bad or life ruining about this game, I play it now and i enjoy it; but at the time I allowed it to become an addiction.  I played 12 hours a day at least. I nearly failed out of college, stopped taking care of myself, and I developed a habit of binge eating while sitting on my computer.  With the binge eating I also started to purge, thus... bulimia became a part of my life, again.

Now, the bulimia didn't start in college.  That actually started in high school, but it was a very small thing that I did as a part of an attempt to lose weight for, of all stupid things, prom.  However, coupled with the depression and self loathing the bulimia consumed me.  For about 5 years I binged and purged daily.  A trip to the dentist in 2010 snapped me back to reality when it came to how much damage I was doing to myself.  I had 16 (SIXTEEN) cavities in my mouth caused by all the acid erosion.  It was thousands of dollars to repair.  This snapped me (mostly) out of the purging. Its something I struggled with for years, and I still sometimes feel the urge; but my eating habits didn't change.  Binge eating just became my normal.

My weight held steady between 150 and 170 for a long time.  Mostly because my jobs kept me on my feet (working as a lab tech) and I met Jacob who's been a good influence on me when it came to working out, but my diet has never ever been something I thought about.  I ate whatever I wanted in whatever quantity I wanted.  Though, in 2014  we moved to Pittsburgh and I got my first desk job and predictably, my weight ballooned.  Here's what I look like now. This is my starting place and my work is cut out for me.  

My diet has changed dramatically.  I've cut out all alcohol and simple carbs.  Focusing on eating foods that have a low glycemic index.  I've lost about 8-10lbs so far and the weight continues to come off slowly.  Right now I'm frustrated with how slowly this is going, but I have to keep telling myself that it's a long road and Rome wasn't built in a day.